Child's Play

In a vague, nebulous way I really miss my childhood. Then, things were simple, clear and straight-forward and there were no complications of adulthood. Studies, Play, and Sleep. And contradictorily, there is no such point in time where I can claim that I stopped feeling like a kid and felt like an adult. I always felt the same. Only the situation and circumstances have changed, which labels me as an "adult". Even today I feel like going out and playing rubber ball, under arm cricket in the alley or go for an all day aimless, endless walk in the National Park/Powai forests. But unfortunately, I like all the rest have to sacrifice myself at the altar of the Daily Grind and participate (sometimes reluctantly) in the Great Rat Race because that’s what I am supposed to do as an "adult". Oh what I can give to give all this up! I am still that self-same kid, grown up in age but the kid remains... and I hope it stays there till the end. I feel this has given me enough clarity to have a desire…Retire at 50, start a primary school, a cricket coaching academy, write a classic story, explore new places and do what I feel like doing…As it goes, Knowing what we want is half the job done. For the remaining half, my quest is on!

What I find is that there are not many who share this point of view. When I act like a kid or explain this stuff to someone, they give me a this-guy-is-immature look. What they don't understand is the difference between child-like and childish... I don’t blame them. Neither do I owe any justifications. It’s just that maybe the kid in them is dead. And still in the so called adults, I see the same kid… people react in the same way that they did as a kid, only the surroundings have changed.

Then one fine day, my friend told me about this novel Ender's Game (by Orson Scott Card), which is about a bunch of kids being trained to defeat alien "buggers" before they reach Earth again. I finished the book in double-quick time and liked it immensely. In the introduction, Card presents a stout, eloquent defense against critics who claim that "kids don't behave like that", meaning kids can't talk and walk in a adult way. Here's what Card has to say: "...Because never in my entire childhood did I feel like a child. I felt like a person all along- the same person I am today. I never felt that my emotions and desires were somehow less than adult emotions and desires. And in writing Ender's Game, I forced the audience to experience the lives of these children from that perspective- the perspective in which their feelings and decisions are just as real and important as any adult's...Ender's Game asserts the personhood of children, and those who are used to thinking of children in another way...are going to find Ender's Game a very unpleasant place to live. Children are a perpetual, self renewing underclass, helpless to escape from the decisions of adults until they become adults themselves."

I suddenly felt good. I felt I am not the only one who feels like this... and if I want, adulthood can be a release too and I sure can fulfill my "childhood" desires. So watch out everyone... here's a kid in an adult's garb.


Bhavesh Lakhani